Sometimes the best relationship is the one you already have, rebooted. It’s easy to take each other for granted after the stupefying initial sizzle has faded. Romantic dates are replaced with responsibilities and life becomes more about getting stuff done than getting it on. Yet, whether you’ve been married for 2, 7 or 20 years, that person you’re a little fed up with is the same person you fell for, but different. Both of you dynamic, evolving individuals are new everyday, and so is the partnership you’re creating. If you’re bored or frustrated with how it is now, maybe it’s time for a second marriage–to each other.

Reality Check: Trading in this marriage for a different one will run the same cycle; initial obsession and blissful oneness, followed by disillusion, struggle and monotony. You can dust off the relationship you have and give it an inside-out overhaul and a major upgrade. Or you can start all over and find yourself right back where you are now; new person, new problems, same story. (Disclaimer: This rule does not apply when verbal, emotional or physical abuse is occurring or in situations when staying together is not a healthy option.) 

If you think, maybe you married the wrong person, check out the equally likely possibility that you married the right one. Your mate selection has more to do with your unconscious mind than your conscious choice. There’s a reason why you’re together, that you might not even realize. Not destiny or fate– more like an unshakable imprint that you each formed in childhood. If you’re interested in exploring what’s going on under the covers, so to speak, come in for a few sessions. Whether you reboot with couples therapy or jump-start on your own, trust that your union has potential as yet unrealized.

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