Give yourself a fresh start.
Folks come into therapy wondering how long it’ll take to change. That all depends– mostly on YOU. Granted, some things can’t be rushed. They can’t be forced. Progress takes time and it tends to favor baby steps. On the other hand, the velocity of your personal growth is largely up to you. One tiny action in the right direction creates momentum that may take on a life of it’s own. So do the small step. Flow will take you from there. If you want excellerated change, O.K. Fasten your seatbelt and let’s go!
Intention has a crazy power all its own. Yes, you have to do your part, but it may be easier than you think. Once you put it out there that you want to change, the Universe rallies to support you. Before you know it, presto! You’re new and improved. Grant yourself another chance to change. You’re in charge. We don’t need to hit rock bottom before we bounce back. We can just say, “Hey, I’m ready to be my best self.” If you’re ready to change, start NOW. Tomorrow is seductively promising. It’s lovely to ponder what we might become one day. But this moment is the one that counts. No excuses. No self-sabatage. No delay.
I recently heard Wayne Dyer say, “You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.” Brilliant. So for example, is it more powerful for me to say, “I want to get organized” for the thousandth time? Or “I am organized?” Shazam. And so it is. If I own, “I’m organized,” amazingly, I behave that way. The same is true for anything. Take, “I want to be a non-smoker.” OK. How about, “I’m a non-smoker.” It’s a short cut. The funny thing is, as soon as you believe it, so does everyone else.
Claim it. Mean it. Be it. Done. Congrats!
Yesterday I missed an oppportunity to make contact with my yoga instructor. I sensed we needed to connect after class, and yet I shot out of there like my feet were on fire. Sure, I was under time constraints. And yet, I know I need to make time to connect meaningfully with people rather than obey my self-imposed pressure to get on with the next thing. This is something I’m changing today. I will take a few extra minutes to interact when it matters. I’m also fond of my old story that I can’t cook. And yet, it dawned on me recently that that’s not really true. I wonder how much more excited about cooking I’d be if I decided I’m good at it. I know the potential is there. It’s just latent. But I need not fear shallots. I need not be intimidated by the term “reduction.” I can cook. That’s the truth.
Shed your old stories– those that don’t serve you.
In my family of four, it’s not uncommon for someone to shout out, “Remember: Today is the first day of the rest of your life!” on the way out the door in the morning. That morsel of inspiration is always delivered with a profound oration to rival Abe Lincoln, with a hint of silly sarcasm. And even though we laugh or smile at the thought, it’s a great way to start the day. Today I am kind. Today I am patient. Today I am healthy. Today I am grateful. Today I am helpful. Today I am productive. Today I am wise. Today I am forgiving. Today I am friendly. Today I am organized. Today I’m a mean cook. Today I am new.
One really satisfying benefit of being present is freedom from the past. If you are fully immersed in what is happening right now- the rest is history. Rumination, as with future thinking, robs you of the moment you are living. People talk about wasting time. But never mind the construction detour on the way to the airport. That’s nothing compared to the life sucked out of us from habitual self-referential processing. This automatic human default mode is sure to kick in until you kick it to the curb.
True, one might choose to spend the present moment in reflection. It’s the intention and awareness that makes the difference between a mind that serves you and a mind that controls you. If engaging in past thinking is not in your favor right now, why let what WAS eclipse what IS?
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” -Walph Raldo Emerson